I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
