Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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