last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
