with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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