conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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