508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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