The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
