I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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