Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
