Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
