I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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