dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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