Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
