so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
