o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
