Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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