Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
