I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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