pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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