That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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