Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
