420 ftw
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
