if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it glows. i had to have it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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