my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
