Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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