yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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