He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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