At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
