while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
