im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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