dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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