I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
