Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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