I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
