my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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