I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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