I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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