She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
