It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
vagina is talking i cant
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
