i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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