Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
