At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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