Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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