There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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