dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
