Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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