Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
