I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
