when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
