who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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