WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
