billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
