So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
