Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
