Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
