after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
