I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think my moral compass just broke
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
