Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We're too hungover to prance.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize