so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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