He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
