My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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