Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize