it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
