Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
