first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
