Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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