you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize