Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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