grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There r osticjed everywhere
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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