I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
