So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You are a genius and a whore.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
