just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Mom said you looked used
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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