Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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