biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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