ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
