Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize